Posted by
Allan Radman on Thursday, November 22, 2007 1:31:10 AM
EXTRA!
Human Link to Global Warming Found! 21 November 2007
For the first time in history, a human link has definately been identified to the controversial subject of global warming. The raw data has been listed here. Now there can be no doubt that there is indeed a human element to global warming.
Global Warming Al Gore's % body fat
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It has been hypothesized that the fatter Al Gore becomes, the higher the global warming factor, as you can plainly see in the data. Scientists have long debated the human link to global warming, and now, for the first time, the data is in, and the scientific conclusions are not refutable. There is indeed, a link between Al Gore and global warming! Professor Kissi Mai Hass, of Carnegie Technological Institute in Pittsburgh, explains the data this way. "That the earth has warmed is not at all that surprising. This is because there is a link, and we now have the proof, that the bigger Al Gore becomes, the more exhaling he does. And with Gore becoming the size of a German blimp, meaning greater body fat, he becomes more exhausted with every word. He therefore takes more and more breaths of oxygen, depleting the global supply of this life-preserving gas, with every passing second. His heart rate also creates heat by beating faster due to the fact that he is so rotund. Heavy breathing means more CO2 released into the atmosphere. Further, we have evidence that Gore's brain is constantly in motion, releasing even more heat into the upper atmosphere. Though we have no clinical evidence of any brain activity we have calculated that Gore's brain has generated at least 2 picowatts of energy every other millenium. We would not have noticed this if it weren't for the fact that we found evidence of the species bhullis krappis, which seems to become larger and larger every time we turn on Airhead America Radio. As well, we also believe there is also a link to blue states in the fact that these people lack oxygen, thereby turning blue."