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Name: Allan Radman
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The Link to Global Warming and Blue States

                                            EXTRA!

Human Link to Global Warming Found!    21 November 2007

For the first time in history, a human link has definately been identified to the controversial subject of global warming.  The raw data has been listed here.  Now there can be no doubt that there is indeed a human element to global warming.

Global Warming    Al Gore's % body fat
         0                                      0
        10                                   10
        20                                   20
        30                                   30
        40                                   40
        50                                   50
        60                                   60
        70                                   70
        80                                   80
        90                                   90
       100                                 100

It has been hypothesized that the fatter Al Gore becomes, the higher the global warming factor, as you can plainly see in the data.  Scientists have long debated the human link to global warming, and now, for the first time, the data is in, and the scientific conclusions are not refutable.  There is indeed, a link between Al Gore and global warming!  Professor Kissi Mai Hass, of Carnegie Technological Institute in Pittsburgh, explains the data this way.  "That the earth has warmed is not at all that surprising.  This is because there is a link, and we now have the proof, that the bigger Al Gore becomes, the  more exhaling he does.  And with Gore becoming the size of a German blimp, meaning greater body fat, he becomes more exhausted with every word.  He therefore takes more and more breaths of oxygen, depleting the global supply of this life-preserving gas, with every passing second.  His heart rate also creates heat by beating faster due to the fact that he is so rotund.  Heavy breathing means more CO2 released into the atmosphere.  Further, we have evidence that Gore's brain is constantly in motion, releasing even more heat into the upper atmosphere.  Though we have no clinical evidence of any brain activity we have calculated that Gore's brain has generated at least 2 picowatts of energy every other millenium.  We would not have noticed this if it weren't for the fact that we found evidence of the species bhullis krappis, which seems to become larger and larger every time we turn on Airhead America Radio.  As well, we also believe there is also a link to blue states in the fact that these people lack oxygen, thereby turning blue."

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Tough Interview with Hillary!

TIMED MAGAZINE

In Partnership with CDNC


January – December, 0 BCE through infinity                               A subsidiary of George Tsoris, LLC

This Month's Exclusive
TIMED Interview with Senator Hillary Clinton!!


Timed Magazine has interviewed only the important candidates and continues the series, "Rating the Candidates ‘08", with Senator Barack Obama, Senator John Edwards, and Senator Hillary Clinton.  TIMED, along with a reorganized Wolf Blister from CDNC television, list the Senators' responses to our tough questions as well as Hillary's brilliant answers, in alphabetical order.

 

TIMED: Senator Clinton, what do you think about the weather in New York today?

Senator Clinton: I hate George Bush.

 

Wolf Blister: Senator, What do you think about the President?

Senator Clinton: I care a lot.

TIMED: Senator, How much do you care?
Senator Clinton: Blue.

Wolf Blister: Is blue one of your favorite colors?
Senator Clinton: I want sick people to get better.

TIMED: Senator Clinton, can you tell the American people what your thoughts are on healthcare?
Senator Clinton:  I like the rain.
Wolf Blister:  Ah!  That's wonderful!!!

Wolf Blister: Senator Clinton, I have a hard-hitting question that would show the world how tough you are on terrorism. 

Senator Clinton:  Yes Wolf, what is it?

Wolf Blister: Do you like mean people?

Senator Clinton: Ahhh...No?

Wolf Blister:  Very decisive Senator!  I think that was a brilliant answer!

TIMED:  I think we have run out of time Senator.  Thank you for your time in our unrehearsed, hard-hitting interview.



TIMED grades:
Senator Clinton A++++:  Wonderful! (Ebert and Roper give Senator Clinton 2 Enthusiastic Thumbs Up!)

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A Healthy Reading List for the Mind and Body

November 2007

Having an interest in eating, breathing, and my personal health (and its avoidance of Type 2 diabetes that has established itself in my family's genetic swimming pool), I have quit my semiconductor process engineering career and began to pursue a medical career - albeit in chiropractic.

I chose chiropractic for a several reasons - the most important being that I am now 51 years new.  I asked several medical doctors, both of whom I am related, for advice about pursuing the standard issue medical degree at my unadvanced age.  Both agreed that due to my unadvanced age, chiropractic was the better way to go.

Unfortunately for my genetic swimming pool, my brain never developed to the point that my relatives did.  Maybe it was the Canadian air (or hockey) that failed to make its way south towards Pennsylvania, where I grew up? 

But be that as it may, chiropractic saved my bacon (Canadian bacon has a lot less fat) and extended my football playing career until the end of that season.  It was 1969 and my arm wasn't responding to orders from my brain.  My mom took me to a chiropractor and with one adjustment, my arm was new again.  Fast forward to 2002 and an auto accident.  My car was totaled because a mass transit vehicle made a left turn at a red light.  My head smacked the ceiling of the car as the front end of my Integra met the front end of a large truck as it entered my lane of travel.  The medical doctor I saw showed me x-rays of my cervical spine (C-spine).  The natural curve (lordosis) was not present.  He told me "this is the reason for the pain" I was experiencing in my neck and shoulder.  Another medical doctor told me (and I quote), "this too shall pass."  Thanks doc - my neck feels so much better now that I know this too shall pass.

Going way back to graduate school and really using my master's degree in chemical engineering, I have learned to write equations.  Hence, painful back + chiropractor adjusting me = not painful back, was written on the back of my diploma from an accredited university with a football team in the Big East.  Well, there are good medical doctors and bad medical doctors as there are good chiropractors and bad chiropractors - just like everything.

So here it is, regardless of your political persuasion, my reading list related to my new career (listed not in any particular order):

1) Complications - A Sugeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science, by Atul Gawande, MD.
2) Who Killed Healthcare?  America's $2 Trillion Medical Problem - And the Consumer-Driven Cure, by Regina Herzlinger, DBA.
3) How Doctor's Think, by Jerome Groopman, MD.
4) Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy, by Walter C. Willett, MD.
5) The New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding, by Arnold Schwartzenegger.
6) Sugar Busters!  Cut Sugar to Trim Fat, by H. Leighton Steward, Morrison C. Bethea, MD, Sam S. Andrews, MD, and Luis A. Balart, MD.
7) Designing Resistance Training Programs, by Steven J. Fleck and William J. Kraemer.
8) Body for Life, by Bill Phillips.
9) Weight Training for Dummies, by Liz Neporent and Suzanne Schlosberg.
10) Interactive Atlas of Human Anatomy, by Frank H. Netter, MD.
11) Netter's Atlas of Human Anatomy, by Frank H. Netter, MD.
12) Primal 3D Interactive Series - Complete Human Anatomy, by Primal Pictures Ltd.


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